October 13, 2005

Am. Gov't - FEMA lateness shocker


> October 12, 2005
> Agency 'Caught Unawares' By Marital Meltdown
> In the latest setback for a troubled government agency, the Federal
> Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) acknowledged today that it had been too
> late to save the marriage of singers Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson.
> At a press conference in Washington, D.C., a red-faced R. David Paulison,
> the interim chief of FEMA, admitted that the agency had been "caught
> unawares" by the celebrities' marital woes.
> "I thought everything was fine with them," Mr. Paulison told reporters.
> "The first I got wind that they were having troubles was late Tuesday
> morning."
> Once the FEMA chief learned that Ms. Simpson and Mr. Lachey were on the
> rocks, it took the agency a full twenty-four hours to dispatch an
> emergency marriage counselor to their home in Los Angeles, but by then it
> was too little, too late, FEMA's critics charge.
> Those same critics allege that amid the turmoil in the agency in recent
> weeks, someone had allowed FEMA's subscription to Us Weekly to lapse.
> At the White House, President Bush expressed surprise that the marriage
> between the stars of MTV's "Newlyweds" was coming to an end: "Who could
> have guessed that Nick and Jessica's wedding vows would be breached?"
> For his part, FEMA's Paulison said that the agency had learned its lesson
> "the hard way" from the Nick and Jessica breakup and would be better
> prepared the next time: "We are going to be monitoring Ashton and Demi
> very, very closely."
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> Iowa in Iowa City as part of the New Yorker College Tour!
> Monday October 17: Andy appears with the cast of Second City at Englert
> Theatre, 221 E. Washington Street, 9 PM
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> House
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> ***ANDY IN NYC - OCT 26***
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